ON COOKING WITH MEAT, OR NOT

Recently, my boyfriend and I attended an informal dinner gathering at the home of a vegetarian friend. She made stuffed mushrooms, which were delicious. One of the other eaters at the table asked if we were vegetarians and we took our turns diplomatically explaining no, though we both love vegetarian and vegan cooking (we just love vegetables). OK, perhaps I took too much time to delineate my perspective as a nutritionist, which no one asked for. In any event one of the other diners finally snapped "You know what? People need to eat meat like they need fucked-up relationships!" Ouch.

Related anecdote: Shortly thereafter, a different friend (omnivore) complained to me that she was having a vegetarian buddy over for dinner and though she really liked this buddy and didn't "mind" that he was a vegetarian, she felt somewhat put out because she couldn't figure out what to cook for dinner. This conversation took place over the phone and thus my friend could not have seen how my brow furrowed in response. What? I thought. And you call yourself a cook?

OK. I am not a vegetarian. I have been a vegetarian in the past, I have been a vegan, I have been a raw foodist, I have spent long stretches pretending to adhere to the Atkins Diet, I have consumed large amounts of grapefruit, wheatgrass juice, fat free cheez, Splenda, and beverages I fermented in my closet every time some yahoo wrote a book about how doing one of these things would bring me decades of radiant vitality. I've tried it all, and in the end I personally always come back to eating a relatively traditional diet that includes mostly vegetables, whole grains and legumes, minimal processed food, some meat, and the occasional slice of cheesecake. I am not going to argue here that this is the "healthiest" diet for 100% of people, or the most ethical, or the best for the planet. It is, simply, the most sustainable approach for me right now— something I can stick with. When I stop eating meat, my blood sugar goes nuts and my blood pressure gets really low and I get lightheaded and moody and sooner or later I end up cradling a bucket of Popeye's Fried Chicken under my covers, crying that no one will ever really love me. It is much simpler to just eat meat now and again.

But that's what I do, what I put in my body, how I choose to deal with my health. People are different. Some people go through life utterly disgusted by meat, and of course many of the word's inhabitants can't afford to eat that much of it. On the other hand, some people have diseases that cause wasting such that if they don't eat plenty of meat and fat, they'll die. Some people need meat for the efficiency of protein and calories involved, especially in places where fresh vegetables are not available all year. (That's my Official Nutritionist 2 Cents.) But most of us are somewhere in the middle and do experiment from time to time, perhaps making sweeping changes depending on what's appropriate at different times in our lives. There are great arguments for not eating meat, as well as for eating less meat and being incredibly cautious about where our meat comes from. But you know what? Who cares. There's absolutely no place for moralizing when you're cooking or hosting other people.

The only appropriate concerns when you're making food for other people are "What food might we all enjoy together? What will make my guests feel nourished and cared for?" Occasionally, when hosting someone with reputed illness or bad habits, I might ask myself "Is there a way I can prepare vegetables for this person such that they'll like the vegetables, and want to eat more vegetables later?"

But that's as close to moralizing as I like to get. Maybe it's because, after a lifetime of experimenting with diets, I'm used to feeling like the weirdo at the table and hating it... not because I can't eat what everybody else is eating, but because I hate feeling judged. Judgment just goes down wrong with home cooking. The two are incompatible. There is no place in this business— and I mean the business of home cooking, not the capital-B "Business" of professional cooking— for questioning people's individual priorities. The home cook is skilled and open-minded enough to adapt, knowing that someday her own priorities might change too.

I understand that in professional and celebrity circles, people can have very strong opinions about this. Anthony Bourdain is one example that leaps to mind. His blind loathing of all things vegetarian always seems so out of place to me when it pops up in his writing and speaking, a strange tic that doesn't jive with what is otherwise an incredible generosity of spirit (at least as far as food and cooks are concerned). But again, he is a professional. He works in restaurants, or at least he used to, and he hates it when people question or criticize his cooking methods just as I hate it when someone questions mine. The difference is that I have a distinct choice of who I cook for, which he does not. That choice, and any appreciation that those guests might feel for my cooking, are my reward for cooking whereas his is financial. (I could easily digress into a treatise on paid professional cooking which is traditionally men's work, vs. unpaid home cooking which is traditionally women's work, but alas I'll save that for another day.)

Anyway I'm sure Anthony Bourdain could care less what I have to say but the example stands. If one wants to be dogmatic about what other people should or should not eat for ethical reasons, one can keep one's grubby mitts off the wooden spoon and go to culinary school (or nutrition school!) and only deal with people who are willing to pay big bucks to agree. Fortunately the rest of us can afford to be a little more open-minded— whether we're cooking for the enemy or eating the dinner they have so lovingly prepared for us.

Creamy Sesame Vinaigrette (vegan + raw)

In a jar, mix 2 parts oil, 1 part soy sauce or nama shoyu, 1 part vinegar, 1 part sesame tahini, and sweetener to taste. Shake it, shake it, shake it! Optional: Also add 1 part chopped cashews or sesame seeds.

This works as a salad dressing or as a dip for crudite and nori rolls.

Meatball Sandwiches

Combine ground meat, minced parsley, raw egg, breadcrumbs, and salt in a bowl. Shape into balls and brown on all sides. Meanwhile, saute minced onion and garlic and add diced tomato to make a sauce. Add browned meatballs to the sauce and complete cooking. Slice the cooked meatballs in half and serve with extra sauce on soft rolls that have been toasted with provolone cheese.

Football-watching food!

Potato Salad with Parsley and Black Olives (vegan)

Scrub, chop, and steam red or fingerling potatoes (skin on). Place in bowl and sprinkle liberally with white or red wine vinegar; cover to cool. Meanwhile, prepare dressing using 2 parts oil, 2 parts chopped black olives, 1 part white/red vinegar, 1 part chopped parsley, and ground mustard to taste. Mix well with potatoes and serve.

I don't have anything against mayo, but a potato salad made without mayo keeps for a lot longer. In fact, it gets better the longer you let it sit.

Crock Pot Brisket with Tomatoes

Place a large piece of brisket (1–2 lbs. minimum) in a crock pot and cover with chopped or canned tomatoes, red or white wine, 1 chopped onion, 1 T. oregano, several cloves garlic, and salt to taste. Cook on high for 5–6 hours. Serve with noodles, polenta, or smashed potatoes.

So here's what happened: I was cleaning out my freezer and I found a giant hunk of brisket. It was icy. It was grayish. It looked, well, unappetizing. So I stuck it in my fridge and planned to marinate it in soy sauce etc. the next day. But I forgot. Three days later I found the hunk, now mostly defrosted and drippy, but still gray, threatening to develop its own ecosystem in the back of my fridge. As you may guess, Mother Thrift got the best of me again and I did NOT throw out the brisket. Instead I devised the above. The result? I am using my finger to remove the last bits of tomatoey meat juice from the crock as we speak.

Needless to say, you could probably make the above recipe with any variety of outdated meat hunk you find lurking in your freezer and it would still be delicious, but since a crock pot is the only way I know of to produce a soft, flavorful brisket without hours/days of marinating, well, this dish just seems like a slam dunk to me. Plus it's cheap AND easy (much like my best friend from junior high). Plus it's brisket.

Potato Leek Plus

Saute 1 large leek (chopped) in butter. Add 3 potatoes, chopped, 1 quart seafood stock, and 1–2 t. salt. Simmer until potatoes are soft, about 30 mins. Then mash the potatoes with a ricer, or puree. Optional: Add 1 lb. white fish and continue cooking until the fish is done, and/or thicken finished soup with cream.

Spinach Pie with Mushrooms and Swiss Cheese

Mix 1 1/5 c. of each of the following in a bowl: cottage cheese, grated swiss cheese, cooked chopped spinach, sauteed mushrooms, and browned onions. Add 3 eggs, beaten, a splash of milk, and salt to taste. Pour into an unbaked pie crust (whole wheat is good) and bake at 350° for 50 minutes. Cool before eating.

ON THE NEW YEAR, FISCAL UNCERTAINTY, AND SHOPPING IN BULK WITH COUPONS

Like a lot of people, I’m tightening the budget in 2010. This isn’t my New Year’s resolution, rather a continuation of the same old drag that started mid-2008 and promises to continue until, oh, I die. The economy is not getting better anytime soon, at least not for anyone whose job title includes the word “writer” or “editor.” Ahhh well. We were living a little too high on the hog anyway.

One upside to all this is that, in an effort to spend less money, I’m eating in a lot more. I obviously like cooking so this is no tragedy. But am I the only one? Sure there are restaurants going under left and right, at least in high-rent San Francisco— but for every one that closes, another opens up in its place a week later. Many seem to be doing quite well, actually, especially those that were well-run and put a premium on “value” to begin with. (Case in point: The inexpensive Korean place near my house is doing better than ever. Huge entrees, including something called the “Pile ‘O Meat,” range from $9 to $15. The waitresses are the fastest in the West and even bring you a free scallion pancake appetizer before your meal and a slice of melon gum after. Awesome.)

Back to my point though— while writer/editors may not be making much money these days, the restaurant business seems to be doing just fine. Maybe I should go to culinary school; at least that might provide some room for career development. But then, I’ve never been so attracted to restaurant kitchens or even gourmet restaurant food. I like my food; it’s not fancy, but it fulfills all my nutritional needs for under $10 a day. I like my kitchen; it’s small, but I don’t have to “cooperate” with anyone in there. I like cooking things any damn way I want to (as opposed to following another chef’s dictate), and I like sitting down to eat with the people I cooked for. I like the intimacy of making food for a few people at once and actually seeing the surprise on their faces when they bite into the eggshells I accidentally baked into their cheesecake. I like cooking for people who I know for a fact don’t suck. I especially like it when they bring wine to my house.

Again I guess this is what makes me a home cook and not a professional cook, and definitely not a gourmet. I do have a fantasy that someday I’ll open my own café— the little kind that’s like an extension of my own home, where the kitchen is open onto the dining room so patrons have to appreciate the sweat on my brow and my taste for loud Led Zeppelin whether they like it or not. Until then though I’ll be spending most nights at my very own stove, stirring my discount beans and plotting my next career move.

Cashew Coconut Granola (vegan)

Toss 5 c. oats, 2 c. coconut, 2 c. cashew pieces, 1/2 c. oil, 1/2 c. honey, 1 t. cinnamon, and 1/2 t. nutmeg in a large bowl. Spread on baking sheet and bake at 300° for 20–30 mins., stirring twice. Remove and add 1 c. packed raisins. Cool.

Crock Pot Black Beans (vegan)

Fill crock pot 1/3 with black beans (soaked overnight). Add water until pot is half full. Add 1 chopped onion, a few cloves garlic, 1–3 t. salt, 1–3 t. chili, and 1 t. cumin; if desired also add a few slices of bacon or a sausage, chopped, and/or 1 t. dried epazote. Cook on high for about 6 hours.

CROCK POTS F***ING RULE! If you want to make this vegan, of course, use veggie chorizo or omit the "meaty" stuff altogether.

Curry Veggies with Coconut Milk (vegan)

Saute 1 onion, chopped, in 2 T. oil. When onions are soft, add 4 c. chopped veggies (chop large) and 2 cloves minced garlic. Saute 5 mins. and add optional 1 c. diced tofu. Turn down heat, add 1/4 c. water, cover, and cook 5 mins. more. Add 1/4 c. soy sauce, dash vinegar, 2 T. curry powder, 1 T. turmeric, and 1/2 c. coconut milk. Mix and allow sauce to thicken. Serve with rice or rice noodles.

Note: This makes 4 moderate servings or 2–3 large ones. You can easily make this with chicken, just add thinly slice chicken with initial 4 c. veggies. If you like spicy sauce, you can also add 1 t. dried chili with the other spices.

Beet Borsht (vegan)

Simmer 1 (big) thinly sliced beet in 4 c. water for 20 mins. In separate pot, saute 1 thinly sliced onion with salt and oil until soft; add 1 stalk celery + 1 large carrot + 1/2 small cabbage (all thinly sliced). Cook for 10 mins. then add beets and beet water, 3. T. dill, 1/4 c. vinegar, and sweetener to taste. Cook 20 mins. more.

This goes nicely with dairy or nondairy sour cream or yogurt.